The Anti-Violence Project defines consent as a mutual, emotional, physical and mental understanding of the activity you’re going to engage in without force of any kind. It’s necessary to get consent before participating in any sexual act, so be sure to get consent before initiating any sexual activity with your partner. Some people think asking for consent can be awkward or weird, but it’s what you need to do in order to respect your partner’s body and their decisions.Why is consent so important? In order to have a healthy sexual relationship with your partner, all participants must be on the same page. Never assume there is consent, even if you are in a relationship with your partner. Always ask. I know it may not come naturally to stop the foreplay to verify that your partner is on the same page as you, but honestly, they’ll respect that you care enough about their feelings that you stopped to check in with them before going any further.
Want some tips about how to ask for consent? Check out Laci Green’s YouTube video . The next part of consent is accepting your partner’s answer, even if it’s not the answer you were hoping to hear. Maybe they’re not ready to go any further right now, or maybe they’re just not in the mood. That’s ok! It doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t attracted or interested in you, it’s just not the right time. Be patient and move at a pace that both you and your partner are comfortable with.
Now, let’s talk about what consent is not. Consent is not assumed. Lack of physical resistance does not mean there’s consent either, some people are shy or may be too afraid to say no. If your partner looks uncomfortable or nervous then always ask, “Do you want to keep going?” A person who is intoxicated, under the influence, unconscious, asleep, etc. is not able to give consent. Consent is sexy and it’s necessary. The end.
AyanaJessica 